Gabe Adoption Story

Christmas of 2008 we knew we needed to get things rolling for our next adoption.  We were so excited to get everything prepared.  We decided to work with LDS Family Services.  We finished everything and were officially approved in June 2009.  It is interesting the anxiety you go through when you are waiting to be selected.  You constantly check your email and see how many people are looking at your blog/profile. This anxiety got to me.  I remember in January 2010, pleading to Heavenly Father and giving him all the anxiety that I felt.  I felt so sad that nothing was happening.  We hadn't had 1 email or real contact the entire time we had been approved.

On our anniversary in 2010, we excitedly headed to Olive Garden to celebrate.  I pulled out Tyson's phone to make sure it was on loud ring so we could hear it if the baby sitters called.  I noticed that he had 3 missed calls.  I listened to the message and it said, "This is .... from LDS Family Services.  We have some good news for you!  Give us a call."  I looked at Tyson with big eyes.  "I think we just got THE CALL," I said shaking.  I tried to call back, but of course they were already gone from the office.  Oh bummer!  Mind you this was Friday, so if we didn't get a hold of them, we would have to wait the whole weekend.  I knew that it might just be that someone was considering us and wanted to talk and ask us questions.  We tried to put it in our minds as that so that we could survive the weekend.  We didn't tell anybody about this phone call.



Monday morning finally came.  I ticked off the minutes until 9, when they would open.  I called and got the good news that we were in fact CHOSEN!  We were so excited.  I learned about our birth mother.  She was not LDS, but called local adoption agencies and LDS Family Services was the first one to answer the phone.  She was due in April, but the social worker didn't know if it was a boy/girl.  We finally found out it was a little boy.

She had already chosen us, but did want to meet us. We immediately made plans to travel down and visit her.  Here is what I said on our blog about meeting her:

We met with Melissa, our son's birth mother, and it was wonderful. She is such a sweet girl and we love her so much all ready. She only wants to do what is best for this little baby. We met with her for about 2 hours and talked and loved getting to know her. As we were getting ready in the hotel I told Tyson that I felt like our whole family was going on a first date. It was funny because she had told the social worker at LDS Family Services the same thing! It all went great though and she really appreciated getting to know us and putting personalities with the pictures she saw and the things she read about us.

She asked us if she could name the baby and, of course, we said yes! The name she picked and that we adore is Gabriel Matthew.

Some of our favorite moments were her and Cedric making funny faces. Cedric went over and sat in her lap and gave her a hug. Cedric told her he was going to be a big brother. She told him where the baby was and Cedric put his hand on her belly. We talked about how Cedric and Gabe were going to be pals. She absolutely fell in love with Cedric. We feel so honored to be Gabe's parents.

Tyson and I looked at our schedules and Tyson said, "I don't know why, but I have a feeling about April 12th.  I feel like something is going to happen that day." 

The next few months were spent hoping this was really going to happen and also preparing for it at the same time.  In December 2009, I got a necklace from The R House that said "Hope."  Hope is something I have grown to love and hate.  Each month you are going through infertility you have hope that something is going to happen.  When it never does, it is heartbreaking, but you must have hope, otherwise you cannot make it through it all.  I felt the same way about adoption.  I truly had hope that we would be selected and have the opportunity to add to our family.  I decided to get a matching necklace for Melissa, but hers says "Love."  This Love is to represent the love and appreciation we have for her and also the love she has for Gabriel.

We counted down the months, and then the weeks and then the days.  We were so excited! 

Melissa contacted us in March sometime and we started talking.   She kept us up to date on things and let us know what happened at the doctor's appointments.

On April 7, 2010, which was a Wednesday, she had a doctor's appointment.  She had told me that she was going to call me after the appointment to let me know what happened.  She had been on partial bedrest and some things were going on.  The doctor was talking to her about possibly delivering early, so I was really anxious to hear about it. 

I didn't hear from her.

I called her, she didn't call back.

By Sunday I was in tears at church.  I was sure she changed her mind. 

Something had to be happening...it had been 5 days...why wouldn't she call me back?

We were devastated. 
Mind you, this was April 11th. 
We were sure April 12th was going to be the day that was sticking out to Tyson because it was the day we would hear that this child would not be joining our family.

We decided to call LDS Family Services Monday morning to see if they could contact her and see what was going on.  I was on the phone with them and my call waiting clicked, "Oh my goodness, it is Melissa.  I gotta go."  I clicked over and she told me she was in labor.  She had been experiencing all sorts of pain and going back and forth to the hospital.

Monday, April 12, 2010, they admitted her and started the labor process.

No way! I got off the phone, called Tyson and tried to find the next flight down to New Orleans.

I frantically packed.  We decided that I would fly down. When Tyson was done with school, he and Cedric would drive down with Vickie. 

I wasn't able to get a flight until later that night and it was 8:00 by the time I got there.  I missed the delivery.  We were sad about that, but I was able to hold Gabriel for the first time that night and also able to give Melissa a hug and tell her how much we appreciated her.

There were a few complications during delivery.  Gabe needed to be in the NICU.  He couldn't eat by himself because his respiratory rate was so high. 

This week was grueling. 

 We all felt a responsibility to be at the hospital (all meaning us and Melissa).  We could only hold Gabriel for a certain time and only 2 people at a time could be in the room.  Cedric could only look at Gabe through the window.  We went back and forth from the hospital to the hotel room each day.  We tried to take Cedric to the park to help him have some fun. 

I really struggled during this time.  Melissa was having a hard time.  I was having a tough time feeling much joy because I was so sad for her.  I tried to support her.  I tried to be there for her.  She absolutely knew she needed to place this child and she never waivered on her decision, but it was just hard for her. 

I realized by that Friday that I needed to have joy in this wonderful blessing that is Gabriel. 

By the next Sunday, we were so over the hospital.  We wanted Gabriel home. 

The hospital decided we could sleep over that night with Gabe and then take him home the next day.

Yipee!

We spent that night in the hospital and Cedric got to hold Gabe for the first time.

He immediately wanted to give him a kiss.  I think the nurses would have flipped out about that, but it was so precious.  He was so excited to finally hold him.

The next day was placement day. 

We gave Melissa her necklace. Took some pictures and headed over to the adoption agency.

Melissa had a very hard time putting Gabe in our car.  She cried and cried.  She was so strong, though!

The plan was that we were going to go to the adoption agency first to sign all the paperwork and then Melissa would come in an hour or so.

We signed the papers and then Melissa signed her papers. 

It was a good day, an emotional day, a relieving day.

We took Gabe to the hotel and began loving on this little angel that joined our family.

We had to stay in that hotel for a couple of weeks as we waited for the ICPC (interstate compact for adoption)  to be approved.

Tyson got to stay until April 25, but then had to head back home. 

I finally got the call to go home on April 26th.

It was wonderful to bring Gabe home. 

His adoption and birth was very emotional, but of course, it was all worth it. 



Gabriel - 9 Months





Daddy and Gabriel's first meeting



Mommy and Gabriel in the Hospital



Brothers





Gabriel being held by his birth brother Peyton, birth mother Melissa.



Social Worker, Melissa, and the Smiths