Forever Family

Happiness

2012-01-06T07:45:00.000-08:00

Here we are again...I had enough of that awful story being the front page of our adoption blog.

We have definitely processed through what happened.

We really just hope she got some help and that she isn't hurting anyone else.

We are feeling the promptings that we are supposed to have a bigger family. We are still not sure how. So many options; we are leaning toward a foster to adoption program, but this is definitely in the beginning stages. I feel at peace with waiting this time. I don't feel a huge rush to get it done now like I have in the past. So, we will be a little older when the next child joins our family; who cares?

We know we are not going to do anything until Gabriel turns 3.

We are both excited for our future, but happy and content with the present!

Fake Baby

2011-08-27T08:53:00.000-07:00

A fake baby. Fake 4 months of getting fake pictures like the one above, being told you were the family for this fake child. Four months of dreaming of this fake little girl. Four months of bending over backward to help a fake birth mom through the fake hard times that were totally viable things a real true birth mother would go through. Four months of her meticulously telling us about the things the baby was doing and doctor appointments and how much they think the baby weighed. Stories about what the doctor told her and what she told the doctor. Stories, fake people, lies, all meticulously put in place. Three visits by the social worker to the fake birth mom. We were all played. For what?

It all lead up to Thursday. Thursday she had a fake infection and was in the "hospital." She was so concerned for the health of the fake baby. I spent all this time reassuring her the baby was going to be okay. She tells us that the fake doctor told her that she was going to have to deliver the fake baby a month early. She is freaking out. She needs reassurance. I totally feel I need to go to her in the hospital. I ask Tyson to take the day off work and watch the kids so I can go help her through her fake hard times. She calls on Friday and says she is dilated to a 6. She is having the baby. We frantically pack. We get to the hospital. What? There is no one by the name at the hospital. Oh, she says she is under an alias and not in the computer. What room are you in? 402 she tells us. Nope, 608, "they moved me." They say there is no one in that room. "What building? Where are you?" She runs us around the hospital. She describes specific areas of where to be. For 2 hours we wait for her to tell us how to get to her. She said she had the baby. We totally think she is just out of it. She just had a baby, right? She is on pain killers. Tyson sees. Tyson knows it is fake. I can't believe it. I keep holding on to the fact that I know this girl. I have talked to her at least twice a week. She has told me in detail so much about this baby that makes perfect sense. I have to hear it from the horse's mouth. I still keep holding on that the circumstance is that we just can't get to where she is. She keeps talking about the baby. Keeps saying she is just so concerned about the fake baby. She keeps distracting me on the phone, talking about the baby. She creates a fake sister. The fake sister is supposed to meet us outside. We drive around some more. Can't find the sister. I talk to the fake sister on the phone. Gosh she sounds a lot like fake birth mom, but they are sisters, so maybe they just sound the same. Oh, sister had to go back up to the room. Ok. Boys are in the car and have been for 4 hours. We need to eat. Leave the hospital. Tyson suggests I talk to a nurse. Perfect idea. Call birth mom, takes her a while to get the fake nurse on the phone. The fake nurse totally sounds like fake sister. I ask if it is the fake sister. Fake sister says no. I ask her to give me the phone number to the nurse's station and I will call her back. She gives me a number. I call the number. It is an OB/GYN doctor's office. Uh, Tyson sees, but I think maybe the "nurse" accidentally gave me the number to the office she works at rather than the nurses' station. I keep having hope. Call social worker. Perhaps she overlooked a few things. Was the name of the birth mom on the ultrasound pictures? We didn't know. Do we have actual proof of pregnancy? Perhaps this is a scam. Fake birth mom talks to social worker, says she is scared we are backing out because we feel like she is lying to us. She wants us to adopt her baby so bad. Finally get on the phone with fake birth mom again. Give her an ultimatum. I need to talk to a nurse right now or her sister needs to come down to the lobby right now. Right now. "I can't reach the nurses button", she says. Oh, my mom is here. Perfect, please let me talk to her. Different voice this time. Totally different. I plead with her to help us. From what birth mom told us, she wasn't on board so perhaps she would not tell us where birth mom is. "Please meet us down in the lobby. "

"Where did she tell you she was at?" Mom asks.

"At the hospital with the baby," I say

Mom replies, "she is at home. What has she been telling you? What is going on?"

Me, "She said she went in to have the baby."

Mom, "No she is not having a baby."

Me, "is she even pregnant?"

Mom, "No. She is a very sick girl. She has serious mental problems. She made this all up."

Wow. Such detailed stories of a baby, such real stories of what the baby was doing and how it felt inside. Such detailed situations of what she was going through. Seriously, she had to research this like crazy. There has to be a book or something online she is getting this from. Amazing. People are amazing.

Despite this crazy situation and this crazy day, we are not in a deep dark hole. We are over adoption, but we know people are generally good. We wish we could go give all the people a hug that helped us yesterday. I had random hugs from strangers who saw what was happening. They cried with us, had concern and care for what we were going through. For this one sick person there was 10-15 amazing people who bent over backward to help us and show us compassion and love.

In the past year we have had three girls who have chosen us to be the family for their baby. Three times we have dreamed of a little girl who is coming into our family. Twice minds were either never really made up or minds were changed. It hurt. This one, we were totally played. Totally.

One of the things that is so frustrating with having gone through these three experiences (especially with them so close together) is that we've been embarrassed by having announced our family growing by one more with the most pure and naïve faith that it was going to occur. We've announced to employers, friends and family that we are going to or actually do take off time from work to have this addition come in to our home in mere hours, days or weeks just to find out that we were mere pawns by mal-intended and sick people. Upon finding out what others are doing we feel completely embarrassed that we didn't think to ask this or that and/or that we placed so much faith in those that we felt should have known better (such as the social worker). In short we can't help but feel that WE (due to our being ignorant and naïve) have caused you all to go through something that you didn't need. The boy who cried wolf is all that comes to mind when we think about how you must feel and your trust in us. We simply feel like we have time and again let mud be placed on our and your faces. That is hard for us to think because we love you all so much and respect and admire you. We apologize if that has been the case. It simply is such an emotional thing when someone tells you that they feel that you are the perfect family to raise their child. You feel such a responsibility to not do something to upset them for fear that your spouse and children are denied the blessing of the child coming in to your home. You simply do all you cannot to ask questions or give impressions to the birth parent that you don't trust them or that you're crazy. You fear being the reason that they're unwilling to place in your family. I think it makes you unwilling to ask the hard questions that need to be asked. Just imagine trying to live with that. You, your family and close friends all conjure up hopes and dreams for this huge blessing to come in to your lives and for the opportunity to rear, raise and love this child. You fear that YOU might be the reason that all that might be lost. The chance at that great blessing is lost due to you. YOUR actions ruined it for you and your family by simply pressing too hard or appearing untrusting or crazy. It is unnerving to even think about and creates an enormous amount of pressure. It is something you would live with your whole life. We love you all for your love, prayers and patience with us, and these situations. I can certainly say that we have tried our best to guard against it but simply have been out-foxed each time. We sincerely pray that you haven't lost trust in us. We ask that you not think about our family for adoption as we have been blessed with two tremendous little boys that we love. We are no longer willing to put them, you or ourselves through this again. We ask that you respect our decision and not ask about our future intentions with children. We are no longer going to waste time trying to build our family but rather invest in the family that we've been blessed to have.

Love,

The Smiths

Welcome

2009-06-01T09:19:00.000-07:00

Thank you for looking at our blog. We are deeply honored to be considered as the family for your child. We have filled this blog with everything you would want to know about us. You can click on different pages that are listed on the right. We hope you enjoy getting to know us. We are so excited at the possibility of adding to our family. Please let us know if you would like to talk further (tjsforeverfamily@yahoo.com).

Photos

2009-05-30T11:41:00.000-07:00

In the hospital with Cedric.
December 2007

Please excuse the running makeup! 2003 trip to Niagra Falls.

2001 right after we got our dog Roxy.

Cedric and Tyson mowing the lawn together.

Cedric being excited at a baseball game.

July 2009 baseball game.

2009 Smith Family Easter Egg Hunt
On one of our many beach walks.

Stopping on the beach walk to play in the sand.

Cedric feeding horses for the first time.

Clemson game 2009. Go Tigers!

Tyson early morning Surfing

Gabe enjoying his birthday cake - April 2011

Our 12 year Anniversary - January 2011

All the Smith Cousins 2010

Sledding in Utah, December 2010

Cedric going out to Surf, Summer 2011

About Jennie

2009-05-28T19:51:00.000-07:00

Loves her husband.

Loves Cedric

Loves holidays.

Loves her family.

Loves running.

Our Story

2009-05-28T12:04:00.000-07:00

We met in October of 1998. We were in an religious institute class together. Jennie had noticed Tyson the very first day of class, but patiently waited for Tyson to notice her. One day she decided to change seats. As she walked by Tyson's desk, he looked up and thought, "that is the type of girl I should marry." After about 5 minutes of contemplating that thought, it then occurred to him that he should go talk to her! We started talking and hit it off. Tyson called Jennie a couple of days later for our first date. It was not long before we knew we were supposed to be each other's eternal companions. We were sealed for time and all eternity in the Bountiful Utah Temple on January 29, 1999. It was a glorious day. It was the best start of our journey. We had no idea about the love and happiness that awaited us.

Shortly thereafter we bought our first home and settled into life. Tyson continued schooling with both he and Jennie working full time. This was all while trying to fix up our 1930's fixer-upper home. We have great memories from this time as well. We were so poor, but so happy. We still cannot believe that we did it, but our grocery budget for a week was $20 (gotta love Top Ramen!). After we had been married for about a year and a half we decided to start a family. We were so looking forward to it! Month after month of hoping passed. After about a year we went to see the doctor, whereupon we heard the words, "You both look great, I am sure we will see you again in 3 months when you are pregnant." We heard those words too many times. Those 3 months came and went, but nothing ever happened.

In May of 2002 Tyson graduated with a degree in Spanish. We then moved the entire contents of our home into a motor home. We sold our house and headed for the road. Tyson worked for a helmet company. He was a liaison between motocross/supercross racers, their agents and the helmet company. We traveled from state to state attending motocross/supercross races. It was such a fun and exciting time. We got to see this great country (even if it was from the freeway), spend every day together, meet and become friends with many amazing athletes and their families and Tyson was even interviewed for ESPN.

(our home for a couple of years and yep that is Tyson in the orange shirt)

During this time we also did some infertility treatments. Those treatments failed and we heard the words again that everything was fine and were diagnosed with "unexplained infertility."

After a year and a half of traveling, we felt the need to get more settled down. Tyson had always wanted to be a teacher. The only thing that ever held him back was the money (or lack thereof!). We realized at this time that money really cannot buy happiness in a career. So we moved back to our hometown. We bought another fixer-upper house. Tyson went back to school to get his teaching certificate. Jennie worked 2 jobs to get us through. Jennie also worked on becoming a medical transcriptionist. We knew we would not be able to make it on Tyson's salary, so we looked into jobs that can be done at home. Medical transcriptioning was a great fit. It allows you to be home with your children and still make some cash.

At this point we had been married for 5 years and were not sure what path to take in having our family. Do we pursue adoption? Do we do more infertility treatments? We had a very spiritual experience in which the answer to our prayers was to just "wait." That was the last thing we wanted to hear! We wanted a family so bad, but that was the answer and we had to learn to have faith in that answer.

We also felt promptings during this time to move from our hometown. We knew we wanted to live by the ocean and we wanted to live somewhere warm. We started looking around the country at real estate prices that were reasonable. We felt comfortable about a beach on the east coast and started to make plans to move across the country.

We took a little detour when a school called Tyson 2 weeks before school was to start and asked him if he would be interested in being an intern for the year. He interviewed and got the job. We sold our home and moved a couple of hours south of us. We moved into a dumpy apartment, but it was so fun!

We visited the place we thought we wanted to live and fell in love with it. Tyson got a job and we made our big move across the country. It was a sad time to leave our family, but how can you ignore the prompting that you are supposed to be somewhere else?

We moved and found a home that we loved. Jennie started working for a medical transcriptionist company. We spent this whole first summer at the beach almost every day. Tyson and Jennie both got surfboards and further fell in love with that sport. We also bought a home (and this one we did not have to fix up- yipee!).

As far as our children were concerned, we decided that after we bought our home it would be time to apply for adoption. We were planning on starting the application in the winter. In August Jennie got this distinct feeling that we would not have wait very long for a child. Then the miracle of Cedric happened (please see Cedric's Adoption story for more).

(Picture at our local beach)

For the last 2 years our lives have been occupied with this wonderful child. It is so incredible to be parents. We love our little man. We love showing him the world and all the fascinating things God has given us. We have a semi-open adoption with his birth parents (which basically means we send pictures/letters/presents to each other and keep in touch). We consider them part of our family and love having them in our lives.

Tyson is still teaching and loves it. He teaches at high school that is only a few minutes from our house. We live in the community where he teaches, which is great (beside the occasional toilet papering!). Jennie still works from home and is able to hang out with Cedric all day.

We are so excited at the possibility of adding to our family and continuing our story.

About Tyson

2009-05-27T12:24:00.000-07:00

He loves his Diesel (Jennie).He loves Cedric.
He loves his family

Back row left to right: dad Randy, brother Tracy

Middle row left to right: Tyson, mom Vicki, brother Boomer

Front row left to right: sisters Kirsten and Joan

He loves surfing.

He loves motocross.

Gabe

2009-04-23T06:41:00.000-07:00

Gabriel Matthew Smith

Joined our family April 19, 2010

We are so in love

Gabe Adoption Story

2009-04-12T07:21:00.000-07:00

Christmas of 2008 we knew we needed to get things rolling for our next adoption. We were so excited to get everything prepared. We decided to work with LDS Family Services. We finished everything and were officially approved in June 2009. It is interesting the anxiety you go through when you are waiting to be selected. You constantly check your email and see how many people are looking at your blog/profile. This anxiety got to me. I remember in January 2010, pleading to Heavenly Father and giving him all the anxiety that I felt. I felt so sad that nothing was happening. We hadn't had 1 email or real contact the entire time we had been approved.

On our anniversary in 2010, we excitedly headed to Olive Garden to celebrate. I pulled out Tyson's phone to make sure it was on loud ring so we could hear it if the baby sitters called. I noticed that he had 3 missed calls. I listened to the message and it said, "This is .... from LDS Family Services. We have some good news for you! Give us a call." I looked at Tyson with big eyes. "I think we just got THE CALL," I said shaking. I tried to call back, but of course they were already gone from the office. Oh bummer! Mind you this was Friday, so if we didn't get a hold of them, we would have to wait the whole weekend. I knew that it might just be that someone was considering us and wanted to talk and ask us questions. We tried to put it in our minds as that so that we could survive the weekend. We didn't tell anybody about this phone call.

Monday morning finally came. I ticked off the minutes until 9, when they would open. I called and got the good news that we were in fact CHOSEN! We were so excited. I learned about our birth mother. She was not LDS, but called local adoption agencies and LDS Family Services was the first one to answer the phone. She was due in April, but the social worker didn't know if it was a boy/girl. We finally found out it was a little boy.

She had already chosen us, but did want to meet us. We immediately made plans to travel down and visit her. Here is what I said on our blog about meeting her:

We met with Melissa, our son's birth mother, and it was wonderful. She is such a sweet girl and we love her so much all ready. She only wants to do what is best for this little baby. We met with her for about 2 hours and talked and loved getting to know her. As we were getting ready in the hotel I told Tyson that I felt like our whole family was going on a first date. It was funny because she had told the social worker at LDS Family Services the same thing! It all went great though and she really appreciated getting to know us and putting personalities with the pictures she saw and the things she read about us.

She asked us if she could name the baby and, of course, we said yes! The name she picked and that we adore is Gabriel Matthew.

Some of our favorite moments were her and Cedric making funny faces. Cedric went over and sat in her lap and gave her a hug. Cedric told her he was going to be a big brother. She told him where the baby was and Cedric put his hand on her belly. We talked about how Cedric and Gabe were going to be pals. She absolutely fell in love with Cedric. We feel so honored to be Gabe's parents.

Tyson and I looked at our schedules and Tyson said, "I don't know why, but I have a feeling about April 12th. I feel like something is going to happen that day."

The next few months were spent hoping this was really going to happen and also preparing for it at the same time. In December 2009, I got a necklace from The R House that said "Hope." Hope is something I have grown to love and hate. Each month you are going through infertility you have hope that something is going to happen. When it never does, it is heartbreaking, but you must have hope, otherwise you cannot make it through it all. I felt the same way about adoption. I truly had hope that we would be selected and have the opportunity to add to our family. I decided to get a matching necklace for Melissa, but hers says "Love." This Love is to represent the love and appreciation we have for her and also the love she has for Gabriel.

We counted down the months, and then the weeks and then the days. We were so excited!

Melissa contacted us in March sometime and we started talking. She kept us up to date on things and let us know what happened at the doctor's appointments.

On April 7, 2010, which was a Wednesday, she had a doctor's appointment. She had told me that she was going to call me after the appointment to let me know what happened. She had been on partial bedrest and some things were going on. The doctor was talking to her about possibly delivering early, so I was really anxious to hear about it.

I didn't hear from her.

I called her, she didn't call back.

By Sunday I was in tears at church. I was sure she changed her mind.

Something had to be happening...it had been 5 days...why wouldn't she call me back?

We were devastated.
Mind you, this was April 11th.
We were sure April 12th was going to be the day that was sticking out to Tyson because it was the day we would hear that this child would not be joining our family.

We decided to call LDS Family Services Monday morning to see if they could contact her and see what was going on. I was on the phone with them and my call waiting clicked, "Oh my goodness, it is Melissa. I gotta go." I clicked over and she told me she was in labor. She had been experiencing all sorts of pain and going back and forth to the hospital.

Monday, April 12, 2010, they admitted her and started the labor process.

No way! I got off the phone, called Tyson and tried to find the next flight down to New Orleans.

I frantically packed. We decided that I would fly down. When Tyson was done with school, he and Cedric would drive down with Vickie.

I wasn't able to get a flight until later that night and it was 8:00 by the time I got there. I missed the delivery. We were sad about that, but I was able to hold Gabriel for the first time that night and also able to give Melissa a hug and tell her how much we appreciated her.

There were a few complications during delivery. Gabe needed to be in the NICU. He couldn't eat by himself because his respiratory rate was so high.

This week was grueling.

We all felt a responsibility to be at the hospital (all meaning us and Melissa). We could only hold Gabriel for a certain time and only 2 people at a time could be in the room. Cedric could only look at Gabe through the window. We went back and forth from the hospital to the hotel room each day. We tried to take Cedric to the park to help him have some fun.

I really struggled during this time. Melissa was having a hard time. I was having a tough time feeling much joy because I was so sad for her. I tried to support her. I tried to be there for her. She absolutely knew she needed to place this child and she never waivered on her decision, but it was just hard for her.

I realized by that Friday that I needed to have joy in this wonderful blessing that is Gabriel.

By the next Sunday, we were so over the hospital. We wanted Gabriel home.

The hospital decided we could sleep over that night with Gabe and then take him home the next day.

Yipee!

We spent that night in the hospital and Cedric got to hold Gabe for the first time.

He immediately wanted to give him a kiss. I think the nurses would have flipped out about that, but it was so precious. He was so excited to finally hold him.

The next day was placement day.

We gave Melissa her necklace. Took some pictures and headed over to the adoption agency.

Melissa had a very hard time putting Gabe in our car. She cried and cried. She was so strong, though!

The plan was that we were going to go to the adoption agency first to sign all the paperwork and then Melissa would come in an hour or so.

We signed the papers and then Melissa signed her papers.

It was a good day, an emotional day, a relieving day.

We took Gabe to the hotel and began loving on this little angel that joined our family.

We had to stay in that hotel for a couple of weeks as we waited for the ICPC (interstate compact for adoption) to be approved.

Tyson got to stay until April 25, but then had to head back home.

I finally got the call to go home on April 26th.

It was wonderful to bring Gabe home.

His adoption and birth was very emotional, but of course, it was all worth it.

Gabriel - 9 Months

Daddy and Gabriel's first meeting

Mommy and Gabriel in the Hospital

Brothers

Gabriel being held by his birth brother Peyton, birth mother Melissa.

Social Worker, Melissa, and the Smiths

Religion/Interests/hobbies

2009-04-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

We are a tremendously active family. We love all types of sports and spend a lot of time doing them. We love the beach. We live about 5 miles away and go down a lot. We both love to surf. Cedric loves the water and will be surfing soon. We love being at the beach and having the downtime as well. We spend a lot of time going on walks and playing soccer there. We believe that activities are a vehicle to family togetherness and relationship building. We take a lot of surfing/camping trips together. We love to accomplish things. We both just decided to run a marathon just to finish that lifetime goal. That will be our first and last one! It was pretty hard. Tyson loves surfing (obviously), cycling, running, soccer, tennis, and pretty much anything that is outside. He also loves music (he has a huge collection of everything from classical to reggae), making things with wood, laying on his hammock, and just hanging out with his family. Jennie loves surfing, yoga, tennis, running, photography, cooking, and blogging. Cedric loves working out with dad (2 year old sit ups are so cute!), his bicycle, being at the beach, reading, dancing, and any sport that has to do with a ball.

We love to learn new things. We know that education is the key to a secure future and it is stressed in our home. We love to travel and experience new cultures. We believe also that as you expose your children to other cultures they understand more about themselves and the world around them. We plan on doing a lot of traveling as our family grows.

We are a religious family. Our faith in Jesus Christ and God's plan for our lives drives us each day. We are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We believe that you must build your family on the principles taught in scripture. We have been sealed together for time and all eternity, meaning that our family does not end in death, but is together forever. We teach the principles of Christ's gospel in our home. We do this on a daily basis and then on Monday night we have "Family Home Evening." This night is especially for our family to do something together. This ranges from something fun like a water balloon fight to us discussing scriptures and teaching things like honesty, kindness, charity, faith, etc. In our church the members have "callings" in which you are asked to serve the ward (a small unit of our worldwide church). Currently Tyson is the second counselor in the Bishopric (a bishop is kind of like a pastor/minister, he oversees the ward). Jennie is the second counselor in the Relief Society Presidency (Relief Society is a women's organization - the largest in the world - that helps women in time of need). Our children will spend time learning every week in church and being a part of Primary, Young Men or Young Women programs. These programs help children learn and understand the gospel of Jesus Christ. Then they put this knowledge into action by doing service projects and such. We believe in being actively involved in the community in improving what we can and doing our part to make our community a better place.

We also love to have downtime together as a family where we just sit and talk on our hammock or watch a good program or movie. We spend a lot of time in our backyard either on the hammock talking or exploring with Cedric. Each week we have a “party night” in which we get take out and eat it in the living room while watching a fun movie (aren't we so exciting!). We have a firepit in our backyard and we spend many nights outside roasting hotdogs and eating smores. Yumm!

Cedric adoption story, take 1

2009-04-01T09:06:00.000-07:00

Miracles? Do I believe in them? Yep. Does faith precede miracles? Yep, I don't have to look any further than my home. I guess the place to start is the beginning. We had gone through 3 years of infertility testing and treatments. At each test the words were the same "you guys are young and everything looks great. I am sure you will be back here in 3 months and be pregnant." Well, those months always came and went with no hint of a pregnancy. We were at a crossroads. Do we pursue further infertility treatments or adoption? We did not know what to do. We feasted on the scriptures, especially D&C 9:
"Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.
But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.
But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong…"

We felt the stupor about more fertility treatments and adoption. The only thing we did not feel a stupor on was waiting. We prayed, fasted and cried some tears and then prayed some more. The answer was very clear. We were supposed to wait.

WAIT!?

What?...that is the last answer we wanted to get! I wanted to be proactive. I wanted to be in control and now, I am supposed to do nothing? Don't take my temperature in the morning anymore? Quit researching infertility and all of it's (sometimes hilarious) cures? Don't think about adoption? Keep hoping that every month something was going to happen? But at the same time just do nothing?

It was the hardest answer to a prayer I ever had to accept. After many tears I KNEW that answer was correct. I just had to have the faith that this was all in Heavenly Father's hands. Like it says in Alma 32:21, "If ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true." We for sure could not see anything. Was pregnancy in our future maybe? Adoption?

We thrust our efforts into our jobs and experiencing life with each other. We spent a couple of years working and living in a motor home traveling around our beautiful country. We kept waiting for further instruction and of course hoping each month that something was going to happen. We ended up moving back home to Utah and we started pursuing different careers. My husband went back to school and got his teaching certificate. At the completion of this we felt a spiritual urge to move. We started looking and the place that felt right was on the opposite coast from our whole family.

TOUGH.

We had to follow our feeling, so we did it. We left all that we knew and loved and moved to South Carolina. At this point we had been married for 7 1/2 years and trying for 6. As we got to our new home, I specifically remember we were hanging out at the beach one day and I told my husband, "I don't think we are going to have to wait much longer to have a family. I just have a feeling like something is going to happen." He asked if I thought I was going to be pregnant. I told him I didn't think so, I just felt like something is coming. He asked when I thought this was going to happen, to which I confidently replied, "In the middle of November." The spirit was speaking to me in such subtle way, as always, a still small voice.

At this time I knew I needed to make my yearly OB/GYN appointment and of course I knew it had to be in the middle of November. I called a place that was highly recommended to me. They wanted me to come in the first of November, but I said "No, do you have something around the 15th?"

As the day approached, I was so nervous. What was going to happen at this appointment? Anything? Nothing? Is this another test of my faith? As I got into the old elevator that slowly made its way up to the office, the spirit said to me, "GET READY, YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE."

I brushed it aside. My stupid hope again that something was actually going to happen. As I proceeded through the appointment, I acted cordial and tried to keep my emotions in check. I handed the new doctor all of our past infertility paperwork to which she replied, "Well, you guys look fine, there is nothing else I can do for you." I expected that. Then I told her we had been thinking about adoption. She looked at me and then said, "Hold on a second." She called her partner and turned her back to me. Even though she was trying to hide the conversation, I tuned my ears in and heard, "Have you found a family for that lady yet?"

My heart burst out of my chest it was beating so hard.

She then got off the phone and proceeded to tell me that her partner had been trying to help this lady find a home for her child. She had a family all lined up and ready to go, but just the week before the family backed out on her. This, of course, broke the mother's heart. She was envisioning a great life for this child and now she did not know what to do. The baby was due in 2 weeks.

The partner-doctor came into the room and we talked. He told me more about the birth mother and father and about the baby. It was a boy! The doctor had called everyone on his list of people that were interested in adoption and no one was interested. The mother was heartbroken and not sure what to do. He asked me if I was interested in speaking with her and of course, I said "Yes!!" We exchanged phone numbers and he told me he would call the mother and have her call me if she was interested.

I left the appointment trying not to be too excited. I told my husband the story and he was so elated. We waited and waited for the phone to ring. It eventually did. We were to meet that Sunday.

That Sunday came and I remember it being a perfect day. I shocked myself with the peace I felt. I was calm and happy. We meet the birth mother and birth father. It was like we had known them for years. They were so nice. They knew what they wanted for this baby. The birth father made me cry when he said, "You guys looked like angels walking to us. You just shine"

There was no question in their minds that we were the couple that was going to have the great privilege to raise their son.

The next couple of weeks were a whirlwind of getting a social worker to our home to do the evaluation, finding a lawyer and just trying to get it all done. Well, everything happened so smoothly and by the day of the delivery, we were all ready legally. They wanted us at the hospital so our little man could meet his family right when he was born. It was a sweet day. We, of course, loved him immediately and also loved our new friends who gave us the gift of being his parents.

It now has been 3 years and we have this little boy running around the house. We cannot say enough how much we appreciate this great gift that was given to us. We have a semi-open adoption with this birth family. They love being able to watch Cedric grow up. We love being able to keep in touch with them and let them know what is happening in our child's life. Cedric is wonderful! He is so full of life and love. He loves other people so much and has a light that is contagious.

I have learned much from infertility. One of the lessons that sticks out to me now is how much we have to rely on the spirit. As we are currently waiting for our family to grow, we have to be worthy to receive His answers and know HIS will in our lives.

"The Holy Ghost . . . is our comforter, our direction finder, our communicator, our interpreter, our witness, and our purifier—our infallible guide and sanctifier." Dallin H. Oaks, Ensign, Nov. 1996

On a side note, I am a total believer in passalong cards. I recently returned to the aforementioned doctor's office. They had told me that they had my name on a list of people that were interested in adoption, but somehow I was not really on that list. They had another situation arise in which they were looking for a family and they could not remember our names! They searched everywhere in their office and could not find it. If only they had a passalong card! As soon as we were approved I sent them a huge stack :)

Cedric's adoption story

2008-12-15T03:37:00.000-08:00

Miracles? Do I believe in them? Yep, I don't have to look any further than my home. I guess the place to start is the beginning. We had gone through 3 years of infertility testing and treatments. At each test the words were the same "you guys are young and just fine, I am sure you will be back here in 3 months and be pregnant." Well, those months always came and went with no hint of a pregnancy. So, we were at a crossroads. Do we pursue further infertility treatments or adoption? We did not know what to do. We prayed and prayed and cried some tears and then prayed some more. The answer was very clear. We were supposed to wait.

WAIT!?

What?...that is the last answer we wanted to get!

We thrust our efforts into our jobs and each other. We spent a couple of years working and living in a motor home traveling around our beautiful country. We kept waiting for further instruction and of course hoping each month that something was going to happen. We ended up moving back home to Utah and we started pursuing different careers. My husband went back to school and got his teaching certificate. At the completion of this, we felt a spiritual urge to move. We started looking and the place that felt right was on the opposite coast from our whole family.

TOUGH.

We had to follow our feeling, so we did it. At this point we had been married for 7 1/2 years and trying for 6. As we got to our new home, I specifically remember we were hanging out at the beach one day and I told my husband, "I don't think we are going to have to wait much longer to have a family. I just have a feeling like it is going to happen." He asked if I thought I was going to be pregnant. I told him I didn't think so, I just feel like something is coming. He asked when I thought this was going to happen, to which I confidently replied, "In the middle of November."

At this time I knew I needed to make my yearly OB/GYN appointment and of course I knew it had to be in the middle of November. I called a place that I had heard about the doctors being great. They wanted me to come in the first of November, but I said "No, do you have something around the 15th?"

As the day approached, I was so nervous. What was going to happen at this appointment? As I got into the old elevator that slowly made its way up to the office, something said to me, "GET READY, YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE."

I brushed it aside. My stupid hope again that something was actually going to happen. As I proceeded through the so-fun appointment, I acted cordial and tried to keep my emotions in check. I handed the new doctor all of our past infertility paperwork and such to which she replied, "Well, you guys look fine, there is nothing else I can do for you." I expected that. Then, I told her we had been thinking about adoption. In fact, the night before we were filling out the paperwork to send into an adoption agency. She looked at me and then said, "Hold on a second." She called her partner and turned her back to me. Even though she was trying to hide the conversation, I tuned my ears in and heard, "Have you found a family for that lady yet?"

My heart burst out of my chest it was beating so hard.

She then got off the phone and proceeded to tell me that her partner had been trying to help this lady find a home for her child. She had a family all lined up and ready to go, but just the week before the family backed out on her. This, of course, broke the mother's heart. She was envisioning a great life for this child and now she did not know what to do. The baby was due in 2 weeks.

The partner doctor came into the room and we talked. He told me more about the birth mother and father and about the baby. It was a boy. The doctor had called everyone on his list of people that were interested in adoption and no one was interested. The mother is heartbroken right now and not sure what to do. He asked me if I was interested in speaking with her and of course, I said "Yes!!" We exchanged phone numbers and he told me he would call the mother and have her call me if she was interested.

I left the appointment trying not to be too excited. I told my husband the story and he was so elated. We waited and waited for the phone to ring. It eventually did. We were to meet that Sunday.

That Sunday came and we so nervously got in the car and headed to the park we designed to meet at. I remember it being a perfect day. We were so happy (and nervous). We meet the birth mother and birth father. It was like we had known them for years. They were so nice. They knew what they wanted for this baby. The birth father made me cry when he said, "You guys looked like angels walking to us."

There was no question in their minds that we were the couple that was going to have the great privilege to raise their son.

The next couple of weeks were a whirlwind of getting a social worker to our home to do the evaluation, find a lawyer, just trying to get it all done. Well, everything happened so smoothly and by the day of the delivery, we were all ready legally. They wanted us at the hospital so little man could meet his family right when he was born. It was a sweet day. We had this child in our arms that so clearly was perfect in every way. We, of course, loved him immediately and also loved our new friends who gave us the gift of being his parents.

Everything went smoothly and now it has been 2 years and we have this little toddler running around the house. We cannot say enough how much we appreciate this great gift that was given to us. We have a semi-open adoption with this birth family. This means that we send pictures/letters/cards/presents back and forth to each other. They love being able to watch Cedric grow up. We love being able to keep in touch with them and let them know what is happening in our child's life. Cedric is wonderful! He is so full of life and love. He loves other people so much and has a light that is contagious.